How An Obsessive Sports Fan Survives as a Teacher and a Lover

MLB Extra Innings Contract

1. Starting June 1 and ending around August 22, MLB Extra Innings (all channels) will be available in the Hill/Jones household for Hill.

2. Between April 1 and May 31, only Red Sox/Yankees games will be available to Hill. May 1 and May 2, Hill will watch the Red Sox/A’s games.

3. Joseph will watch Yankees games (usually upstairs) with reasonable levels of enthusiasm before June 1 and after August 22.

4. Starting June 1 and ending around August 22, MLB Extra Innings channels will be locked for Hill, except for all series mention above.

4a. In the event that Hill pesters (more than once) Jones for access to any games other than those mentioned above, Hill owes Jones $20 for each session of transgression.

5. The watching of Red Sox and Yankees games for all of the 2007 season (playoffs included) will continue to be enjoyed in a civil, respectful manner.

Weeknight NBA Playoff Games Before June 1

1. Hill can only watch the second half of weeknight playoff games (excluding the Warriors or Celtics, if either ever make the playoffs) before June 1.

"In order to save oneself from falling into the crater that is obsession, one must limit one's access to those obsessions...even if that means drafting ridiculous personal legislation, such as the kind seen above."

-MrMr Sam Hill

Hill in the Hurricane

Much has transpired since last week. MrMr Sam Hill finally caught the 4-day long flu that has been sweeping across the land and the students, hovering in midair, dangling from the ceilings of classrooms like enormous Spiders found only in certain parts of the Rainforest. Trying valiantly to ward off the evil flu, I boosted my immune system relentlessly for weeks, drinking all of the grapefruity Airbone I could get my hands on, finding antioxidants wherever I could, attempting to get sleep, despite the pressure of night classes, planning, grading and teaching. And yet...I fell ill. Four days in a comfortable new bed, flinging tissues at the abstract demon of illness.

Let me pause here and describe my emotional state over the last ten days (before Tuesday).
Whelm. Whelm. Whelm.
OVERWHELM

what builds up? papers. writing papers for school. grading papers for classes. preparation papers. quizzes. when to relax. when to unwind. how to make your mind stop overanalyzing all of this newness. how to actually take in each day as its own entity. how to find time to step back and appreciate this change. how to not take each student's reaction to you personally. how to show that you care without showing vulnerability (they can't handle that until they respect you). you can't be real with them yet. they have to know they cannot eat you up, spit you out, and then play with you as a cat does a dead mouse. when your blood pressure rises, their strategy is working. when your voice quivers, they sense hesitation, uncertaintly. piranhas? vultures? worse. Adolescents. so you make yourself calm. you structure the period. you begin to provide some order. you develop a technique that involves counting down with your hand, from 5 to 1, and if they aren't paying attention by the time the fist closes, they all stay for one minute after the bell. if i can't make you shut up, then you will make each other shut up. unfair to those who are obedient, calm, giving undivided attention? yes. good for the class? yes. perhaps a solution.

All of this following a day of teaching despite the illness, and a meeting with my "Master Teacher" where my lesson planning weaknesses mounted up and smacked me in the face like an abusive parent. Where I was nearly screamed at from three feet away. Where I left feeling like this mentoring relationship was in need of the reset button. And it's up to me to make it work, is what I'm told. Was I defensive? Was I out of line? Is it my stubborn individualism? Personality differences? A lack of communication? All of the above?

I was given advice: humanize the relationship. Ask the mentor if she would like to get a cup of coffee outside of school. Ask what I am doing well? Remove ourselves from the environment of the mentor's room, the mentor's turf, and balance the relationship out. Good advice, I thought.

So here we are. Six weeks down. Twelve or so to go. Wow. It's tough to see outside of the storm when you are floating in the calmness of the eye.

Integration

So I don't buy a lot of things. Like clothes. However, I spent $17 on this originally ridiculously overpriced-two-thirds off-military green blazer-type jacket. It is now the "Mr. Hill" blazer. Sam occasionally looks at it with contempt. Not unlike Clark Kent, I have this thing that turns me into something else. Not that I'm Superman, exactly. But something else, nonetheless. When I tried on the blazer in the store, it didn't seem too constrictive. The shoulders were a little tight, but overall, it was pretty comfortable. It definitely fit the image I was going for. Not the black hooded sweatshirt that I prefer, and that plenty of the adolescent bastards also prefer. Not the casual comfort of comaradeship. Instead, the slightly, but not overly-formal look, the authority of a khaki green blazer. The brown loafers, not the blue sneakers. The canvas bag, not the red backpack (which was stolen, and thus wasn't an option). I'm not always this image-conscious. For a long period of time, I pretended that my style was "No Style" which is debatable. It seems next to impossible for us thinking humans to be entirely image unconscious, though my brother comes pretty close. Even if we don't put time into our style, we are aware that we are or aren't wearing what is trendy, popular, or untrendry and unpopular.

So...Mr. Hill and his beard. His brown shoes. His khaki blazer. His authority. He threatens Sam. It was bound to happen. A forced integration, embrace of adulthood, embrace of responsibility, of baggy eyes instead of baggy jeans. Sam is gradually accepting this fact of life. Still, that damn jacket gets uncomfortably warm when the decibel level in the room goes up too high. Mr. Hill is trying to learn how to provide order and not chaos. How to manage thirty-four 16 year-olds, without overheating on a daily basis. Maybe soon, Mr. Hill will attempt to work without the constricting shoulder. Perhaps integration will get easier day by day.